READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TIME WARNER CABLE AND SCIENTIFIC ATLANTA ARE SCREWING THE WHOLE COUNTRY OVER WITH DEFECTIVE CABLE BOXES! THE 8300HD TAKES THREE WHOLE SECONDS TO TUNE IN TO A CHANNEL, BECAUSE IT'S SEARCHING FOR THE BEST SIGNAL. THERE'S NO WAY TO TURN THAT OFF! I MAY BE THE ONLY ONE IN THIS HOUSE WHO'S MAD, BUT I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE IN THE COUNTRY! DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE WE DID, DON'T LET THEM INSTALL SCIENTIFIC ATLANTA 8300HDS IN YOUR HOUSE! THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I AM VERY MAD, AND ON THE VERGE OF LEAVING BECAUSE MY PARENTS DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS A BUNCH OF CRAP!
THEY KEEP TRYING TO PREVENT ME FROM GETTING MAD, EVEN THOUGH THEY DO ALL THE TIME! I TRY TO PREVENT MYSELF FROM SCREAMING AND THEY SCREAM AT ME FOR TRYING TO HOLD IT IN! I'M STUCK WITH A USELESS PIECE OF JUNK THAT I CAN'T GET RID OF!

Summer

It's summer, y'all. I'm under pressure to get a summer job, and I'm supposed to hear from Target sometime this week. Sears said the same thing, but never called, but I feel better about this one. My parents keep on asking why I don't want to go back to the Clayton News-Star and I wasn't sure why at first, but I figured out that it just wasn't going to be interesting anymore. When I started, there were two news editors, one of which I really liked. There was this one time in December 2005 when I accidentally started an argument about Christmas vs. Holidays and about Nativities on public property. I mentioned how Raleigh was having a display of Baby Jesus AND a Menorah. One of the editors is Jewish, and she presented an interesting angle in a column. She said, if she held a "trademark" on the word "Christmas," she would allow its use the same way "Super Bowl" is used. Only for official reasons, not advertising. Anyway, they are both gone, and I didn't feel the same way about their successors. They weren't mean, we just didn't click.

On Saturday, we went down to Wilmington, home of the USS North Carolina Battleship Memorial. It's a World War II-era battleship which fought in the South Pacific. There was one room that housed an analog computer, which was covered with switches. It was used to set targets for the guns. We also went to the Cotton Exchange, a restored Civil War-era shopping area, where there was a Celtic Shop. There was a book there that showed which clan your surname fell under. Both "MacKay" and "Gunn" were listed for "Nelson," but according to Mom, Gunn tartans were worn at their wedding. I examined the two tartans, and they did look similar. They were both predominantly blue, one difference being the addition of a yellow thread on MacKay.

60

399, 400

First, "24 Minutes"

If anything is long overdue to be parodied, it's "24." "The Simpsons" did it very well. I haven't actually seen "24" itself, but I know enough about it that I could understand what was going on here. It's hard to explain why I believe so, but this one was really good.

Second, "You Kent Always Say What You Want"

This is just what "The Simpsons" needed. Even after 400 episodes, it remains excellent. Many of you just don't get it anymore, and I try to understand, but I can't! Everything was perfect. It had it all: slapstick, satire, meta-references, and not just sticking it to the man, sticking it to the whole network. Mock me if you must, but this episode is now second only to season 13's "I am Furious (Yellow)." If you're unfamiliar with the episode titles, the latter is the one with Angry Dad.

So now, with 400 episodes, 48 Ullman shorts, 2 music videos, numerous commercials, several video games, and one UK-exclusive Christmas short, "The Simpsons" gears up for the big screen. I will countdown here, starting tonight:

68

Two reviews, one short, one recycled for sarcasm purposes. Why sarcasm? Because "1 full hour" implies TWO NEW episodes.

First one: The first part was terrible, the second part was good, the third part was about halfway between.

Second one: The title's too long, but that's not a big deal. [Still] One of the best quotes this season: "Statements like that are the reason people think we're gay." The scene with the action-superhero-movie-type dressing up was a good non-sequitir/sequiter/sequitur, but the one scene with the Comic Book Guy was a real waste, as was the end. I would have been satisfied with a few rake-to-the-face gags.

Outside of Springfield, for Mother's day, we went to Angus Barn, Raleigh's legendary country-style restaurant. Afterward, we went to Bed Bath and Beyond to exchange the defective battery tester I got for Mom for a couple other things. Then, on to Shoe Carnival.

By the way, last Monday was the second anniversary of my blog.

Crook and Ladder

This one was seriously so-so. The first part was excellent. But, when the actual plot got started, it started to go downhill. Some parts really dragged. Some people like dragging, though. I don't blame them for catering to everyone. I don't really know what else to say.

Back home

I'm at home now. My laptop has been sent to get its backlight fixed, which will take about two weeks. So, I'm using the desktop computer in the kitchen. My parents are nagging me (though they'll deny it) about getting a summer job. I have applied to JC Penney and Sears, but haven't heard from either.

If anyone understands what "mime fuhrer" was trying to say when commenting on my last post, please let me know. Thanks.

1 down, 3 to go.

I have finished my freshman year. Tomorrow, I will be going home to Clayton. I had never understood what my Mom's obsession with plastic boxes is, but now I kinda-sorta get it. See Talk to Something you later.