I've got an omen or something

I just have this feeling that this year's holidays will be really good. It's November 30, 25 days until Christmas, 26 days until Kwanzaa, and if you'll forgive me, I don't know when Chanukah is this year. Hang on... 16 days until Chanukah. I just got this crazy plan to set up a big menorah on public property somewhere that probably doesn't have any Jews. I'll probably get thrown in jail and make national news. Hope I'm not offending anyone who I don't intend to offend.

How to fall down the stairs and live to blog about it

Yes, I fell down the stairs in my dorm trying to get to Harris Teeter. It hurt, but I'm okay. I was only two or three steps above the second floor landing and landed on my right side. My foot always does this thing where my right ankle turns 90 degrees inward and I lose balance. It's been happening since fifth grade. One memorable winter morning at West Clayton Elementary I was navigating the boardwalks out to my mobile unit (read: trailer) classroom and fell at exactly the right time to fall onto another sloping boardwalk towards the fourth grade mobile units. Cold, but not icy, just cold enough for me to slide a bit. Anyway, I made it to HT, got the milk I needed, and made it back upstairs.

The title's too long...

...but that's not a big deal. One of the best quotes this season: "Statements like that are the reason people think we're gay." The scene with the action-superhero-movie-type dressing up was a good non-sequitir/sequiter/sequitur, but the one scene with the Comic Book Guy was a real waste, as was the end. I would have been satisfied with a few rake-to-the-face gags.

Recapping Thanksgiving weekend, I went home; saw my parents, three aunts, three uncles, and four cousins; and came back to Laurinburg this afternoon. Now for the last 2.5 weeks of my first college semester.

Weird

OK, so Jon, a guy from my dorm, invited me to an "Amazing Race" type-event at his church. We had to run all around Laurinburg to find clues and participate in challenges. This was one of the challenges I had to do: suck up a tupperware full of lemon Jell-O through a straw. It was torture. Was there some kind of divine intervention that made Chandler volunteer me for that task? I'm never eating Jell-O again. My team won, though. Then, the church was holding an early Thanksgiving dinner, but I suddenly fell into a serious depression and didn't feel like eating anything, even anything I would eat. Maybe it was the Jell-O. Anyway, I then saw The Simpsons. It was a pretty good episode. I snapped out of my depression when the old man was flying like Rocky. And it's always good to know that Moe is just a little bit nice inside, even if it can be blocked by what Matt Groening decribes as his being "mad at the world." Less than four years ago, Moe bonded with Maggie, and a couple years ago, he got to know Marge. That just leaves Bart. Maybe Moe will realize who's been prank calling him. You know how they never do prank calls anymore? I've heard that the names were too hard to come up with.

Pardon the delay, folks

You wouldn't believe the weekend I had. I visited home, got a serious eye irritation, my head is really giving me trouble, and I didn't get back to Laurinburg until this afternoon, after seeing a doctor. So anyway, here's the review for G.I. (annoyed grunt).

Two weeks in a row making fun of the war. Excellent. This time, it was really funny. I've dealt with army recruiters. If you're feeling unscrupulous, tell them you're autistic. Between that and the actual war, there wasn't much. I actually had an idea to use alcohol to defeat the Iraqi insurgents, seeing as how their religion forbids alcohol and they'd turn themselves in before violating their religion for a reason other than murder. I'd spray it outside suspected hideouts. No offense, people.

Treehouse of Horror XVII

Yes, 17.

Ok, where to start? Well, first, there was the beginning, a parody of the Cryptkeeper. The cameraman tripping was funny, that's for sure. Then, there was the Blob parody. Took them that long to parody that, huh? Next, there was the Golem. That was good, and nobody got killed that didn't deserve it (just kidding, but it's about time those bullies got what they had coming). Last, there was the War of the Worlds part. Who wouldn't want to make fun of the bottomless mudhole President Bush has gotten us into? Despite that, the timing of the actual parody seemed off. This just didn't feel like the right time. Maybe it's because of the election on Tuesday. Yeah, that could be it.

Don't worry

Having received some very thoughtful emails from Aunt Joan and Laura, I should update my status: I'm doing much better. Still have a few days' worth of antibiotics to take, but I feel better. It's just that the side effect of the antibiotics, namely excessive sweating, is slowing me down a bit. I'll be fine.