I just took the Accuplacer test here at the Johnston County workforce development center. I got the 90th percentile on the arithmetic part. We were authorized to use the web after we finished, so here I am.

Yesterday I was driving on US 70 and it was raining, so I had the wipers and lights on. There were a lot of people who didn't have their lights on, though. State law: "Burn headlights when wipers in use." Those lights weren't even on fire. If they were trying to save gas or something, they're doing it the wrong way. I'm trying to save gas too, but it was more important for me to see.

This weekend, my parents are going to MerleFest. Basically, MerleFest is like this: You know what Woodstock is, right? Replace Jefferson Airplane, The Who, and Jimi Hendrix with Merle Watson et. al. and move it down to Wilkesboro, NC. I'll just visit my grandparents while Mom and Dad are there. My Dad is leaving this morning, and my Mom and I will go up tomorrow evening.

Part 1: Hmm. Well, that one line about Christian Fundamentalists taking over America by the 21st century was ominous and everything, but I think it's more along the lines of just messing it up. How does this stuff happen, though? The pilgrims said they wanted religious freedom, but when they get here, they take it back. I can't help but wonder what my life would be like if my great-granddad, William "Scotty" Nelson stayed in Scotland. Would it be better or worse? Would I make fun of America behind their back then get annoyed when they do the same to Scotland? I don't know.

Part 2: That one was pretty good. I mean, I can relate. I've had a desire to mutiny against Mr. Smith, the principal at CHS, but I was thinking of a student strike, akin to "The Principal Wore Pearls." It was about a year ago, when my friend Alex and I were annoyed about morning break being revoked just because some morons never heard of a trash can. We were taking a class where we produced the school's morning news, and we wanted to sneak an announcement declaring the strike on the air. I'm pretty sure that just woudn't work, though.

Part 3: Marge's line about the strongest 3rd part, though accurate for last Christmas' episode, proved seriously wrong here.



Spring break is over. I feel like I blew the last few days doing not much. I mean, I went to South of the Border, I went to Adventure Landing, and I got some extra sleep, but it just doesn't feel like enough. I go back to school tomorrow.

This Tuesday is the court date for my traffic citation. I gotta go to Raleigh, be all civilized and everything, just to pay a $160 fine for blinking at just the wrong time or letting up on the brake too soon or not braking fast enough or whatever happened. I probably won't get another anytime soon, seeing as how gas is too expensive to do anything.

A purpose in life

Before I start this, I must warn you that you may take this the wrong way. Please don't make me into an outcast or dismiss me as some delusional kid.

I've decided what my purpose in life is. First, my mortal enemies: Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist Church. They are the biggest, meanest, impossible to reason with-est homophobes in the universe. Everything about them kills me inside. To understand how it makes me feel, see this photo here. A young girl, who could have become CEO of Sears or a great reporter or something like that. But, because she was born into that family, she is doomed to a life of bigotry and never knowing any better. So, what will I do? Well, I had a dream last Friday, where I drove out to Topeka, where they're based, and parked outside their compound and held down my car horn. A few others joined me, and the church members stole Jim Jones' idea (NOTE: I don't want them dead, just to see the light) and killed themselves. I got arrested and was jailed for three days, but the city was so grateful, when I got out, they bought me a new Volvo C70. (The Volvo is just me talking, you might want a Bentley or something.)

Anyway, you're more than welcome to steal my idea or come up with your own. See this article here or this one if you need to justify this.

By the way, if you're not interested in gay rights, Phelps is also an anti-semite, anti-catholic, and an advocate of wife-beating.

Long awaited review for "Last of the Red Hot Mamas"

This episode was good. I've always felt bad for Marge, not having any friends, then when she does get friends, they're not her type. I can relate. There were these guys who came over to my house a lot in summer '03 but seemed to be more interested in my Dad's Playboy stash, which he gets for the music reviews. They ended up just making me feel like a pathetic outcast trying too hard to fit in by the end of it.

I haven't blogged in a while. There hasn't been much going on, and our wireless network is not working as well as it used to. Either it's broken or really slow.

Last night was the prom. I didn't have a date this year. Last year, I went with Jessica Clark, but this year, I wanted to go with someone else, namely Jessie Bova. I asked her on Valentine's day, but I learned too late that that was too late to start asking girls to the prom. After Jessie told me she was going with Tyler Denning, I asked all the other girls I knew well, but they were all going with someone else, except Maggie Smith, who just wasn't going. I probably should have taken her advice, because despite everyone being there and all the girls looking good, including fourth-grade crush Lily Cooke, it got boring by about 1 and 1/2 hours in. I found out that Jessica Clark wasn't coming because she didn't have a date either, and I realized that by not asking her, I may have offended her. See, she has Down's syndrome and I can barely understand her most of the time. She and I rode the same bus for nearly 6 years, and I just got a wild hair or something one day last year and asked her. I hope she's not too mad at me.

So now, it's spring break.

Let me just make this one quick: Outsourcing is one of the worst ideas in the world, up there with nazism, fascism, and communism. Introducing fringe benefits is totally the way to save corporate America's backside.

I've been meaning to do this for a while, so here's my opinion on stuff in the news.

*Duke Lacrosse rape scandal (remember, Duke is about 50 miles from here.): Y'know, I knew all the jocks in the world would get what they have coming. There was a golfer at CHS who bullied me so much, I had to hide in a bathroom, and he followed me. He was absolved because he was the best golfer in the school.

*Immigration: Some land of opportunity. I mean, If you wanted to come here so bad, can't you just do it legally?

*All those government scandals: Think ENRON.

...

I've got some mixed feelings here. Maggie being translated was nice, and Lisa's activism was and still is part of what made ths show what it is today. On the other hand, euthanasia really gives me the creeps. I don't want to know when I'm gonna die.

Also, there's the announcement of the Simpsons movie. Now that it's April 2, I know that that's not a joke. What will they do for the plot?