18

I'm 18. So, what does that mean? I can get a credit card? I can sign waivers without my parents? I can go on The Price Is Right? Whatever, it's a weird feeling.

Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'em

I missed the first three minutes or so, but from what I could tell, there was some good satire about how malls can go past their prime. Just last week, in my quest to find Keith Olbermann's new book, I happened upon Biggs Park Mall in Lumberton. Belk, JC Penney, and a few small stores in between. No Barnes & Noble, only a Waldenbooks. Back to the episode: Just last year was a gender-related story. Who would have thought so many people could be so sexist? Not just Chalmers, Krusty, and Brockman, but Helen Lovejoy and Lindsay Naegle too. Hey, what were they doing at the Builder's Barn? The part about allergies was interesting at first, but there was a big continuity error: Bart is allergic to butterscotch, as revealed over 15 years ago in 7F22. Wouldn't Skinner exploit that? Also, Bart was at a seafood restaurant in 7G10, but ordered squid instead. Well, don't I sound like those college guys from 1F02? The ending was a bit weak. At least Homer learned yet another painful lesson. In conclusion, this episode had some excellent laughs, but they were concentrated in the first and second acts.

Jazzy and the Pussycats

This one's a bit hard to explain. It's always nice to have those moments where Bart's conscience escapes and he does something nice. But will his arm stay that way? That's the trick. There was one excellent line about how Lisa never thought the two stories would intertwine. People says jokes like that are the reason The Simpsons have gone bad. I don't think they've gone bad. I think that those raising a stink over decline in quality are prejudiced against meta-references; fourth-wall supremacists or something. Big deal. They still have plenty of good gags. Just tonight there was Lisa's attempt at skateboarding that will probably by the 29th season be akin to the classic clip of Homer falling down the gorge way back in the second season.

Oh, and by the way, I only have about eight days, three hours, and 20 minutes left of childhood. I'll be 18 next Tuesday. I've learned that there's a tradition at St. Andrews where you get thrown in Lake Ansley C. Moore on your birthday. I just hope I can find someone to hold my cellphone and Palm Pilot so I don't electrocute myself.

Five years later

I still remember where I was when 9/11 happened. I was in eighth grade at Clayton Middle. It must've happened while I was in math, but I found out about it in art. It was a complete shock. Now, five years later, we're stuck in the wrong country and still haven't found the jerk who sent those guys to kill us. That is just plain pathetic.

We need something to cheer us up. Here's just the thing: Numa Numa II!

18th season

What we had there was a weak beginning, a strong middle, and a seemingly unfinished ending. There were some nice touches there, including the baking soda + vinegar + TNT part, the WWII beans, and the part about McDonald's and Burger King being absent because of mob interference; and it's good to learn a bit more about Fat Tony. I never considered what happened to his wife.

Visiting home

Tomorrow, I'll going to visit home for the first time. I'll get to see some of my family and see for myself what the heck happened to Aunt Lesley. See, after 16 years of marriage, she and Uncle Luke unnoticeably broke up last summer. They're still going through the divorce process, but as soon as that's over, I'll have a new uncle, Uncle Steve. When I heard about this, it was a total shock to me and I was worried about how Sarah, Rachel, Hannah, and Julia would take it. From what I've heard via the miracle of e-mail, they're doing just fine. I'll see them on Saturday.

In the meantime, Prof. Hawkins has assigned a large paper for Quest class to be turned in Tuesday. We have to summarize the two books we've read so far, Siddhartha and Ellen Foster, but use one paragraph per chapter. That adds up to 25 paragraphs. I may have missed something, but that's how it came through. I don't know if that's the norm for only three weeks of college, but it feels like a lot. Even the paper for my senior project in high school probably wasn't that long. I'm awaiting a call back from Sam, the teacher assistant, clarifying this whole thing for me.